The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Fri 23 Aug 2013 10:32

Kobold News!

Trade hub destroyed when a witness at the Sternn trial inexplicably went berserk, one Hanover Fist. The criminal Stern's whereabouts unknown!

Empire wide, all radio stations are only playing Kenny G and Yanni songs!?

Pinky and the Brain out maneuvered! "I sense failure Pinky", Brain said as he peered in the window at Ko-shlos-bold adder. It appears that the "entertainment" reduced the ruling council into helpless blubbering lumps opening the door to new management. The sisters of Gimli, led by Rosie O'donal, Richard Simmons and Hillary Clinton (and yes they were wearing tutus, how's that for a mental picture!) have taken over as the new (ick) glorious (yak) ruling (barf) council.

Could this be too cruel to inflict even on kobolds?
Last edited by aethelred on Sat 24 Aug 2013 18:18, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby AlexeiTimoshenko on Fri 23 Aug 2013 22:06

They could be hearing an endless loop of William Shatner's version of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". Or the Fudd's endless chant of "Kill the Wabbit".
Charles Rosenberg.

Alexei Timoshenko is the name of my protagonist in the fanfics, although I wish it could have been me.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Sat 24 Aug 2013 10:39

On a window sil at Ko-shlos-bold castle in the main meeting room, "we can not let this stand Pinky!"
Two laboratory mice, whose genes were cut and spliced, hold their ACME elastic launchers in their left hands draw iludiun Q36 space modulator projectiles in the elastic pockets back to their right ears.
"Take careful aim Pinky the fate of the entire galaxy depends on us!"
"Hahaha! Right Brain! Narf!"
"Ready, fire!" Commands the Brain.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby AlexeiTimoshenko on Sat 24 Aug 2013 21:31

The good news is that Brain might hit the target. The bad news is that Brain might hit the Target.

On to more exciting news.

Have you ever had that feeling of imminent doom? We at ACME have a solution. With the ACME Model 9000 Time Clock, you can set your quitting time for the day. Say it's 1659 and your ship is about to be swallowed by that Black Hole that you just discovered. With the Model 9000 Time Clock your crew can clock out at 1700 and resume their demise at 0800 after a good night's sleep.
Charles Rosenberg.

Alexei Timoshenko is the name of my protagonist in the fanfics, although I wish it could have been me.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Sat 24 Aug 2013 23:30

Pinky's shot caught Rosie in her generous gut. As she buckled over she said "I knew we should have had more stringent elastic launcher control laws!", she then gasped her last and desolved into nothingness.
Brain's shot hit Hilary in the middle of the sniper's triangle. At first there was a look of shock in her face, then recognition. "Drat! What have you done you meddling mice! I'm melting! Oh look what you have done to my beautiful wickedness! Oh what a world! what world!" (blah, blah, blah you know the rest.)

"There was no Kaboom Pinky, There should have been an earth shattering Kaboom!"
"I think your right Brain, there wasn't one."
"Pinky, are you pondering what I am pondering?"
"I think so Brain, but pant suits look too feminine on me."
"No! These aren't explosive! They are bars of soap with truth serum!"

Just then Richard came out of his initial shock and belted out a scream that would be the envy of any adolescent girl.Then the tempo of the music picked up "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" crooned a deep unsteady and out of tune voice.

"Pinky, how did William Shatner get here?"

But before Pinky could answer, "Lets start moving to the oldies ladies!" Richard Simmons commanded as he started his dance routine. Two pairs of mousy feet started moving to the beat. :shock:
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby AlexeiTimoshenko on Sun 25 Aug 2013 07:04

Looks like Pinky and Brain could use an ACME Model 9000 Time Clock about now.
Charles Rosenberg.

Alexei Timoshenko is the name of my protagonist in the fanfics, although I wish it could have been me.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Sun 25 Aug 2013 09:16

After a few moments even the useless lumps that were once the ruling council started to shift slowly from left to right.
"Pinky we must resist!"
"This is fun Brain!" Pinky responded getting his groove on.
Deep in the bowels of Ko-Shlos-bold there first was a great rumble that preceded a great
Whoooooooom!
Then the rumble greatly increased, the floors started to shake and dust and plaster started to fall from the ceiling.
"Someone blew the magazine in the basement Pinky!"
"Did they have any comics? NARF!"
"Remind me to hurt you Pinky! Jump!"
Brain grabbed Pinky by the neck and threw him out the window and Brain followed. They spread the wings of their ACME bat suits and began to glide down the ravine.
The wind pulled their ears back and their tails flapped and wiggled behind them. When they looked back at Ko-shlos-bold it started to crumble as flames grew quickly starting from the basement and working up. When a few critical supports gave way the whole building started to slide down the mountain.
"Lucy in the sky with daimonds!"
Ko-shlos-bold castle started to pitch to one side as it gathered speed. It was a fairly clear path all the way to the bottom of the ravine where it slammed into a certain forth generation building which crumbled, caught fire and the ruins of both buildings sank into the swamp.
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Sun 25 Aug 2013 09:26

On a ridge on the opposite side of the ravine stood a large muscular kobold whose face was full of disgust.
"That council was entirely too silly to let continue!"
"Yes Chief Eecheck."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Just the minister of silly walks"
"I think his services will be required on one of our ice planet moons."
"Yes Chief, and what of the Empire?"
"No more numbers! and no more building in swamps!
This is now the 1000 year Kobold Empire!" :roll:

"Common Pinky, we must get back to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night."
"Why? what are we doing tomorrow night?"
"Same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the Empire!"
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Sun 25 Aug 2013 21:14

Turn 26: Kobold News!

Cheif Eecheck takes control of the glorious 1000 year Kobold Empire!
Our fleet consists of:
One CA, 6 CL's, 7 DD's, 3 FG's, 15 CT's, and 12 explorers
Our CFN consists of around 200 FT3's
We also have around 200 active Qt's
20 SY available at home system.
Da is now on line and plans are ready to go for our glorious gunboat carriers!


We have discovered the home world of the Sisters of Gimli! A system called Nidavellir, their leader's name is Hreidmar. They destroyed our explorer and pushed into the system our ship came from. Luckily, this was a WP nexis with 15 warp points. That will buy enough time to get the mothball fleet up and over there.

Things look hostile now on two fronts. Our forward base on the Squidward front. (with 10 SY) will be completed next month.
Expect reserve call ups and glorious battle! :twisted:
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Re: The Glorious Kobold Empire rises again!

Postby aethelred on Mon 26 Aug 2013 22:30

Turn 28:
Chased the Dwarves out of the WP nexus with reactivated elements of mothball fleet.
Finally got fighters off the ground without getting shot down by my own point defense! 8-)
There was much rejoicing!
First carriers, CV and CVE based on CA and CLf hulls respectively will be coming off the ways next month.
Having 20 SY on the home system has its advantages hehe
Forward base on the Squidwards front has been completed and another forward base facing the dwarves is under construction.

"Hey Pinky, maybe we could use this new ACME model 9000, hmmmmm"
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